We arrived at the hospital at 11am and shown to our room. Or our 4x4 cell should I say. Ethan had to be nil by mouth from 12 as the doctors were going to sedate him at 2pm and try for the long line. Well, I kind of guessed it was going to be bad from the off but after a tiny bit of the sedative, trying to get Ethan to even open his mouth was difficult. When I finally got the syringe in with Ricky holding him down he just spat it straight back at me.We probably managed to get around half what he should have into him. By this time he was so distraught anyway he fell asleep after about 15 minutes.
|after the sedative|
Ethans cannula lasted an amazing 8 days. Everyone was shocked at how well he had done with it and is going down in the wards history for longest lasting cannula in a toddler. But that eighth day came and the cannula had come out. And it was just me, no Ricky to support us. I was even more petrified than the start and couldn't keep myself together. But he had to do it... so I had to do it. I have to stay strong for my baby, he's the one going through this not me, pull yourself together and be there for your son!!
The ward sister was insisting on sedation and long lines despite me telling her time and time that he wouldn't take the sedative. But she wouldn't listen and the trauma of day 1 came flooding back for both of us. My baby is crying his eyes out saying not the special medicine mummy please while the nurse is trying to get him to take it. I hate the feeling that gave me, all I could think was I was failing Ethan by not protecting him. Enough was enough and I told her to stop and actually listen to me. If they cant give him a general for a long line then we would have to have another cannula in the other hand and hope it lasts. Not the option I wanted but trying a long line again with no sedative at all and no numbing cream, was certainly off the cards.
Why cant this be happening to me? Why cant I do this for him? Why cant I make him better? One of the main roles of being a parent is protecting your child and I can't. There is nothing I can do to take this pain away from him and that rips me to pieces. Daily.
The cannula went in fine and after a few cuddles and pressies he was fine again. He was however a little concerned for his original wiggly worm (the line that comes off the cannula that the antibiotics go in) and had to keep in. In a bag. In my bag. For safe keeping obviously. Today was Friday... the weekend... Ricky was staying here till Sunday which meant I got to go home and sleep in my own bed. I went for dinner at my dads Friday night then home to bed. Funny though as all I could think about was my boys and when I could go back. They coped very well. Too well.
|Nurse bear with patient bear-bear|
The day before our 'release' Ethans wonderful 7 day cannula failed with 4 more iv's left. So we had to get a new one in and quick so as not to fall behind with ivs or we wouldn't be going home in the morning as planned and would have to wait till the evening. 5 minutes later it was done. I was pleased as I didn't have time to work myself up and Ethan was brilliant and even watched them do it, cried, but still wanted to watch. So this saw us through to Fridays 10am iv and then we was all done.. finished. He didn't understand why they was taking his wiggly worm out but I did, and I was so so happy for him. They did however manage to get a fabulous deep vein and soon as the cannula came out he bled everywhere. And I mean everywhere. A plaster wasn't controlling that and he got his beloved bandages back, clean ones obviously. Change of clothes and off we go.
We did leave behind a hamper of sweeties for all the staff there that made the whole thing that bit more bareable but the one that really needed praise was our boy. Words can not express how proud he made us. He recovered from everything so well, even though he was waking up having nightmares about the pain from his cannula he still took everything in his stride, getting stronger and stronger as the days went on. Sure, he was fed up of being pulled left right and centre, I was fed up and uspet watching it, but did he ever let that get him down. No. He is a brave, strong little boy that is kicking cf's butt!
I never want my baby to have to go through that again and will do everything in my power to try and keep him out of hospital... keep him away from coughs and colds where I can, away from smoke and harmful environments and make sure he has all his medication, physiotherapy and treatments.
There are no lengths I wont go to to keep my baby healthy, he fights his hardest and so will I.
Love you lots baby boy xxx
|Playing 'stupid frogs' with auntie Sarah and auntie Kelly|
|best buddy Nik came to visit|
|Tired monkey x|
|Last night *happy happy*|
|HOME... and with his best friend in the world, Levi x|